| Location | Hartlepool |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 21/05/2007 |
| Date of Death | 21/05/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,595 since 05/06/2007 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
Matthew was our very much longed for baby.
We found out that at 20 weeks into the pregnancy we were going to loose baby Matthew, he had a very
poorly heart.
He was then delivered when I was just 21 weeks pregnant. He is, and will always be sadly missed.
Our arms feel empty not having him to hold. His big brother William wanted him so much too and is
very sad he has gone to heaven to be with the angels.
He was born and died on Monday 21st May 2007, loved and gone forever, yet never forgotten. His due
date was 2nd October 2007.
One day my baby Matthew, we will meet again, until that time comes know mammy, daddy and William
love you so much, stay with us in spirit and keep us strong. I hope 'night nights' is looking after
you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Your little sister is now with us, the biggest ray of pink sunshine we could ever ask for, thank you
for keeping her safe and making her arrival into this world a very happy one. I often see a glint in
her eye and I know it's your little soul shining through her!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Matthew;
I wonder what you would have looked like, how cheeky you would have been, and how much you would
have made us laugh, as your big brother does, and it makes me so, so sad that the angels stole you
from me. Somedays I feel angry that your heart was so poorly and I wonder why you? why us? I know
that is a question that will never be answered and one I will always ask. Please rest in peace and
know I am so, so sorry. Mam X x X
You will never be replaced and never be forgotten. We love you.
Today...
We went to Megan's party....it was lovely and we took so many photos, I looked for you in the background but didnt spot you on one! Thought you may have been there today.
X x X
These words are so right....
If I could hold you close
Like you were never gone
If I could hear your voice
You'd tell me to be strong
But sometimes;
I just can't, I just don't understand
Why you had to go
I guess I'll never know
Ain't it funny how you think
You're gonna be OK
Till you remember things ain't never
gonna be the same again
Ain't it crazy how you think
You've got your whole life planned
Just to find that it was never ever
In your hands
If I could get to you
I'd be there in a minute
My world don't make no sense
Not without you in it
And sometimes
I just cry
Can't say I
Don't know why
But why'd you have to go?
And leave me here alone
You don't see it coming
Change
When the future comes knocking
It changed
It can make you and break you too
You just have to make it through
So beautiful
Just been looking at your photo and you are so very beautiful. I keep remembering how you felt, soft but so cold, I remember being confused as to why you were so cold. Silly really.
Love you..still and always, X
Thinking Of You All
Hello Denise just came across your sons site. How hard it must of been for you all. Matthew was due on my birthday October the 2 nd and it was also my hubbys sons birthday Anthony Liam Salvin who also has a site on hear. He was taken from his lovely mummy and daddy at the age of 3. I didn't know him but hear so much about him, he is neva forgotten. Just like your Matthew.
Your beautifull son would of had a lovely life with you's ya can see how much he's missed. Love to you Denise and your lovely family.xxxxxxx
Goodbye 2007
2007 is nearly over. I am pleased this year will end soon, the hardest of my life.
I am not leaving you behind though, just moving on (and taking you with me in my heart).
I look back on this year and wonder why life was so cruel to me and you, and to so many of my friends too.
Please look down on us always and be our guardian angel and make 2008 one of the best.
Loving you lots and lots, you are never forgotten, always spoken of...and always will be.
Kisses, snuggles and triple hugs from mammy, daddy and billyboy! X x X
´ *•.¸(*•.¸♥ ¸.•*´)¸.•*´
My Christmas Wish For You
My Christmas wish for you, my friend
Is not a simple one
For I wish you hope and joy and peace
Days filled with warmth and sun
I wish you love and friendship too
Throughout the coming year
Lots of laughter and happiness
To fill your world with cheer
May you count your blessings, one by one
And when totaled by the lot
May you find all you've been given
To be more than what you sought
May your journeys be short, your burdens light
May your spirit never grow old
May all your clouds have silver linings
And your rainbows pots of gold
I wish this all and so much more
May all your dreams come true
May you have a Merry Christmas friend
And a happy New Year, too.
´ *•.¸(*•.¸♥ ¸.•*´)¸.•*´
I pray that 2008 will be full of joy for us both xxxxx
I ask a few questions...
everyday...why? what would I being doing now if? where do we go now? Questions that have no answers will haunt us until our last breath.
I know that Matthew loved and loves his Mum, Dad, William and family, and they will love and never forget him. I feel so sorry for his Mum, she needs people, strength, support...sometimes this doesn't involve words...most of the time it just needs to be company.
Being lost in your mind, is being lost in your heart and soul, and someone just 'being there' is sometimes all Matthew's family will need.
I wish I could make it better for you now, grant you the one wish you want...because I understand how you feel...and I'm waiting for a person to offer me that one wish as well.
It's ok to...feel, that's what we do as human beings and as parents. It's ok to be quiet, to cry, to be lost...but it's ok to smile and laugh...because I have no doubt when you smile, Matthew does to.
My heart and my thoughts go out to you and your family. Give William a extra special hug and Matthew will feel it.
Matthew, tell Kyle his Dad misses him and loves him so much...don't worry he'll look after you.
Ian
xxxxxxx
6 Months Today you grew your wings....
I wish my child hadn’t died. I wish I had him back.
Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn’t shy away from me. I need you more now then ever before. I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you; but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child.
I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my child’s death pains you too. I wish you would let me know those things through a card or note, or just an acknowlegement that he was real, as he was and is to me.
I wish you wouldn’t expect my grief to be over in 6 months, or assume I am 'better now'.
These first months are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die, until I am re-united with him once again.
I wish you wouldn’t expect me 'not to think about it, to forget about it' or to 'be happy'. Neither will happen for a very long time; so don’t frustrate yourself or me.
I wish you understood how my life has been shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I’m feeling sad and low. Please be as patient with me as when I say 'I’m doing okay' – I wish you could understand that I don’t 'feel' okay – and that I struggle daily.
I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my child died, and I will never be that person again.
Sometimes it is just so difficult. X x X
I saw this poem today and I think that it is a message that your Mummy would want those around her to read.
Go ahead and mention my child,
The one who died you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further,
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say 'pretty good' or 'fine.'
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.
You know that your Mummy loves you more than anything dont you Matthew, I just wish that I could bring her some comfort.
Lots of love to you and your Mummy little man
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Why does it seem to get harder ?
Little Man.
It is nearly 6 months now since you have gone. I feel so terribly sad. No one ever mentions your name (only my few friends on the net and on Sands), they must assume I am 'better' but I am far from better, It's actually getting harder.
There hasn't been a day in the last 6 weeks that I havent cried. I just feel so low and miss you so very much.
I feel so sad that not one else visits your grave only me, daddy and your big brother William, thats it! I come along at least 3 or 4 times week and make sure your flowers are fresh and talk to you. No one even realises this because no one ever asks.
It is like you have been forgotten and your exsistence was not important at all, but to me it was and is and always be. I understand 'life goes on' but for me I feel stuck, and wonder if I will ever feel truely happy again.
People tell me I now have a guardian angel looking out for me but I just wish I could reach out and touch you, but I can't. I loved you, so very much and miss you even more.
Unless you have lost a child you cannot begin to imagine the pain and emptiness I feel for losing you. I gave birth to you and it breaks my heart I was not able to bring you home, it's unbearable. X x X
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